Alain de Botton今天的信，探讨一个情侣间敏感的话题。传统观点认为，若你爱我，就爱我的一切，包括容忍那些缺点。但是，爱之深度和弹性，在于两人不断的实现自我完善，让对方变得更值得爱。亚博赌博软件
Two people should see a relationship as a constant opportunity to improve and be improved. When lovers teach each other uncomfortable truths, they are not giving up on love. They are trying to do something very true to love: which is to make their partners more loveable.
Alain de Botton给读者的慰藉，是让我们接受这种天生有缺陷的师生关系。那些窘迫的、别扭的坦白，应该看成是爱的标识——代表他/她在乎。
Rather than reading every lesson as an assault on our whole being, as a sign we are about to be abandoned or humiliated, we should take it for what it is: an indication, however flawed, that someone can be bothered – even if they aren’t yet breaking the news perfectly (our friends are less critical not because they’re nicer, but because they don’t need to bother: they get to leave us behind after a few hours in a restaurant).
We should never feel ashamed of instructing or of needing instruction. The only fault is to reject the opportunity for education if it is offered – however clumsily. Love should be a nurturing attempt by two people to reach their full potential – never just a crucible in which to look for endorsement for all one’s existing failings.